How to Be a Cougar 101: Steps, Rules & Cost
There is absolutely something intriguing about being a mature woman dating younger men. With all the experience it’s nice to have a drama-free experience and feel in control in a relationship for a change.
If becoming a real cougar is something you are interested in, keep on reading and learn everything about how to be a cougar in 2023.
5 best legit sites to become a cougar
There are many niche dating sites out there, which makes choosing a suitable platform quite difficult without having clear criteria to filter them out. The number of dating platforms is that high because of the increasing popularity of this type of relationship:
- 81% of ladies are open to dating someone 10 years younger
- Nearly 90% of men are curious about relationships with someone 10 years older
You can really become a cougar only when you start an actual relationship. And the best way to meet a cub is on specialized sites.
Here we gathered 5 best cougar dating websites where you can meet true cougars and many hot young men.
1. Secret Benefits
- Monthly visits: Over 8M
- Benefits of the site: Free sign-up, many active members, verified profiles
- Top features: Search tool with filters, interactive matches, the Top Admirer feature
Secret Benefits was widely known as a sugar dating website, but it’s now a popular mainstream dating place that actually has different users with different intentions, including many hot cougars looking for a cub.
The site has it all for quick search, easy-to-start communication, and interesting time online thanks to Secret albums, the Matches feature, and convenient chat.
Overall, the platform connects like-minded people based on the type of relationship they seek. But Secret Benefits is not fully free; to access some advanced features, like watching steamy private photos or videos, members need credits, and the cost of packages starts from $0.59 per credit.
- Monthy visits: Over 234K
- Benefits of the site: Active community, high response rate, fixed prices for premium plans
- Top features: Priority support, profile boost, messaging
CougarPourMoi is one of the most popular niche cougar websites in Europe. Though it has most members in Western European countries, it’s getting more and more visits from the United States.
The community is growing not only because the site connects similar-minded people with the same views of relationships but also because of the reasonable pricing policy and some great features. Everyone can sign up for free and make a profile really detailed to attract more matches.
Those who want to upgrade to premium get even more, in particular, have an opportunity to upgrade their accounts, get priority support, view all the information on profiles, including all the shared photos, and more.
The costs of premium plans vary depending on the duration. Thus, users who want just to give it a try can buy a 1-day plan for just $0.99 or a 1-week plan for just $0.39 per day.
- Monthly visits: Over 1M
- Benefits of the site: Convenient search, detailed profiles, strict moderation & 6 types of profile verification
- Top features: Interests, instant chat, WhatsYourPrice vibes feature, private albums
Even though WhatsYourPrice is not a niche cougar dating site, it has many older women who are looking for relationships with younger guys or are open to such age-gap relationships.
Members of this platform have detailed profiles and are open not just to the online romance of various types but also to meetings IRL.
Finding someone you like is easy you can either use a search tool with filters, watch live photos or videos on WhatsYourPrice vibes (stories-like feature), or see who visited or favorites your profile in the Interests feature.
Some of the services on WhatsYourPrice are paid and require premium membership that starts at $109.99 for 30 days.
4. Cougar Life
- Monthly visits: Over 135K
- Benefits of the site: Niche specialization, private photo albums, the What’s New feature
- Top features: The Discover feature with filters, messaging, requesting and granting keys, the Viewed Me feature, and the list of favorites
CougarLife is one of a few platforms that offer its virtual space to build age-gap relationships between older women and younger men. It’s free to join and provides everything for an easy search for a suitable partner.
Older women don’t like to add more stress into their lives, and Cougar Life’s Discover feature with filters helps with finding the most compatible guys.
Also, profiles are quite detailed, which makes the search work accurately, and 85% of members fill in their profiles and add 3-5 photos.
After you find a match, you can send winks to show your interest, request access to photos, or write a message. The chat feature is the only communication way on Cougar Life, but it’s enough for establishing a true cougar relationship.
The cost of premium services, like chatting, on the website, starts from $0.30 per credit.
- Monthy visits: 58K
- Benefits of the site: High level of safety, polished and modern design, good dating pool, high response rate
- Top features: Profile verification, extended search, secret photos, online messaging
As the name of the site suggests, it’s a platform created exclusively for cougars and younger men who’d like to find attractive matches and start relationships. It’s a relatively new website, so it doesn’t have as many members as some other websites on our ranking, but it’s growing pretty rapidly for plenty of reasons.
First of all, it’s a modern site that you notice immediately after accessing OlderWomenDating. Everyone can join for free and make a profile very detailed. Those who want to get the most attention from other users can also pass the verification and get that verified badge.
Members can also use a lot of search filters, and send winks, likes, and favorite others. Of course, there’s an online messenger for those who are ready to make a connection on the website. There are also some extra special features, like Spark search, commenting on photos and other users’ First Gift Ideas, First Gift Ideas themselves, and top support available 24/7/365.
It’s a paid site, though, but the costs of premium plans are fixed, and you can become a Premium user just for 15.99 per month.
How to be a cougar 101
If you are serious about becoming one of the cougar women who date younger men, check out our guide for new cougars!
Who is a cougar woman?
The term cougar is often used for older women in their late 30s or 40s who are successful, independent, know what they want, and prefer to date younger men.
But actually, there are different types of women who like to date younger men:
- Puma. A hot lady in her late 20s-early 30s, who is into relationships with an age gap
- Cougar (also known as urban cougar). A mainstream term, but it should only be used for ladies in their late 30s and 40s
- Jaguar. Older women over 50 who are in relationships with men who are significantly younger
As you can see, the term cougar is not the only one that describes the age-gap relationships between older women and younger men, is simply the most well-known.
5 steps to becoming a cougar in 2023
If you are looking for some practical advice, here is a step-by-step guide on how to become a real cougar.
☝️ Step 1. Update your look and haircut.
Well, getting your hairstyle done doesn’t make you a cougar, but appearance is one of the key factors that will get you dates. But note your goal is not to look like a twenty-year-old but to enhance the sexuality you already have. Also, getting in shape won’t hurt either.
☝️ Step 2. Get the right attitude.
Being a cougar you must be independent (both financially and emotionally) and self-sufficient. Real, legit cougars are comfortable with their looks, know what they want from life, and have fun in a romantic relationship.
☝️ Step 3. Hunt your cub.
To find a younger man, you should search in the right places. If you want to meet someone 25 and younger, you need to go to the places they visit, or you can always try one of the best cougar dating sites.
☝️ Step 4. Teach your cub a thing or two about life and… in the bedroom too.
One of the advantages of being a cougar is experience. But don’t try to be his mum and navigate him through life. Just have fun and share a few tips on how to get that promotion he needs or some amazing things to do in bed that you know.
☝️ Step 5. Get rid of your worries about age.
Don’t emphasize your age difference with your new boy toy if you want to keep the spark going.
As you can see, there are some peculiarities worth keeping in mind if you are serious about becoming a cougar. Remember them and you’ll have even better age-gap relationships.
How old do you have to be to be a cougar?
One of the most common doubts ladies have when wondering how to become a cougar is if their age is enough to be called a cougar and if they’re too young or too old. If you also have such doubts, we are here to make them disappear.
Even though there is an age difference between a puma, cougar, and jaguar, they are almost the same in nature. All of them are open to relationships with younger men. And that’s proof that you can be a “cougar” from your late 20s to 50+.
How to ask a younger man to be your cub?
When you choose whether you want to search for your cub online or offline, you need to think about your approach strategy. Usually, cougars are the ones approaching the guys they like, as they tend to be the leaders in the relationships.
Here are a few tips on how to ask a younger man to be your cub:
- Just go there and don’t be afraid to approach younger men online of offline
- Be confident and know what you want from a relationship
- Don’t enhance the age gap and don’t treat a guy as a kid
- Flirt and showcase your best sides
Many younger guys like to date women who are older because they have experience in a way a younger girl can only dream of. So, use your advantages to start a relationship you really want.
How much does it cost to be a cougar?
The financial side is very important, as you need to understand potential expenses before jumping into a relationship you can’t afford. But here it’s essential to emphasize the difference between cougars and sugar mommas.
As both of these types of women are dating younger men, only SMs are expected to provide financial support and pay for everything, while cougars might just want to pay for dates and that’s not a requirement.
|Dating website’s expenses||For example, Cougar Life, a popular credit-based site offers 3 credit packs: |
100 credits for $29.99
500 credits for $99.99
1,000 credits for $149.99
|Cost of dates||Around $50-$100 per date|
|Accommodation expenses (if needed)||The cost of hotels in NY is around $200-$300 per night|
|Travel expenses||If you and your cub are from different states or cities, you need to budget trips and vacations too. |
Everything depends on distance and can range from $50 to $500 and even higher if you use special luxurious services for traveling
|Presents||That’s an unavoidable part of any relationship, so you need to set aside at least $100 for that per month|
So, as you can see there is no set sum you need to pay. You might have to spend as little as $30 or need $1,000+ to date a younger man.
Now that you know how to be a successful cougar, we hope you are ready to set your doubts aside and enjoy the relationship you dream of. When I was researching the topic, I noticed that many younger men are open to dating older women online, so the only thing you have to do is to take the first step to them.
Video: How I became a cougar
The best way to find a cub is to join a specialized dating platform, like Cougar Life, create an eye-catching profile, add hot photos, and be active in approaching younger men you like.
There are many things that attract a younger man, including life experience, confidence, knowing exactly what she wants from life and dating, financial independence, and being less dramatic.
The main thing that a cougar does is date men who are younger. Some cougars also mentor and help their cubs financially.
Well, there are different opinions, but most agree that a cougar is a woman in her 40s. However, there are also people who believe that 35 is already an acceptable age to call a woman a cougar if she doesn’t mind having such a status.
A cougar is a middle-aged woman, usually in her 40s, who dates much younger men who are at least 7–10 years younger than her.
A younger man who is dating a significantly older woman, i.e., a cougar, is called a cub. A male sugar baby who’s dating a sugar momma can also be called a sugar cub.
The opposite of a cougar is a middle-aged male who’s dating younger women. This may be a sugar daddy or just a single man who’s interested in much younger dates.